Kids, Dress Code, and Impure Thoughts

This article hit the net today from Slate: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/06/09/dress_codes_and_the_fingertip_rule_schools_should_not_be_telling_girls_that.html

In short, my issue is not the girl violating the dress code - right/wrong, the dress code for the school is established. The issue I have is the underlying reasoning for some of the actual codes.

I have no issue with a dress code at all. The issue I have is the fact that the wrong issue is being discussed as a result. Violate the dress code, fine. But to single out girls for their attire and hold them responsible for boys thoughts and actions is wrong. Do I think some of these girls nowadays are wearing outfits "above" their age? Without a doubt, yes! Do I think their doing so should hold them responsible for immature boys/men? No.

How is it different from a drunk blaming the bottle of Jack Daniels or those shots for his/her own

behavior? In my opinion, it isn't.

Where are the parents telling these kids "just because you can see the cleft of her butt cheek doesn't give you the right to stalk/abuse/rape/fondle/etc her."

So yes, if she, or any kid, violates the established dress code, that's one thing and I support it. It's the underlying reason for some of the dress code clauses I take issue with.

When will we, as a society, start holding individuals responsible for their own actions - and consequences - instead of looking for something else to hold responsible for our own words and deeds?

What separates man from animal is "free will" - which means we are responsible for our own words, thoughts, and actions, maybe it's time more people started acting like it. 

Sesame Street: The Dark Underbelly

Case 97-875792 / Ernie's Problems With Alcohol And Women

We tailed Ernie to a local bar one evening and watched him suck down nine double Jack and Cokes within an hours time. He then got up and stumbled around the bar with his pants down yelling "Who wants to wrestle the Bald Headed Champ?" Ernie had also offered several young ladies in the bar various amounts of money for sexual favors. Bert was called to come pick him up and Ernie has since been banned from the bar for life. On a side note the bar was fire bombed a few days later. Ernie has been questioned in this incident, but charges have yet to be filed. We shot this photo as Bert was helping Ernie get home and seconds before

Ernie puked on Bert for the third time.

Case 92-248834 / Ernie's Attempt to Corrupt Bert

Here's A picture we dug up from the archives. The look on Bert's face says it all. Ernie's favorite hang out is a Juice Bar on the South side of Sesame Street called The Jugg Shack, This picture was taken when Ernie had tricked Bert into thinking that a Pigeon Exposition was going on inside. Bert was overheard asking several times "Where are the Pigeons Ernie?" Shortly after this picture was taken Ernie bought Bert a lap dance and he passed out.

Case 95-423885 / The Brutal Beating Of Bert 

This picture was smuggled out of the S.S.P.D. It's of Ernie after one of his numerous arrest in early to mid '95. Ernie in an apparent jealous rage killed all of Bert's Pigeons. He then went down to Mr. Hooper's Market and attempted to sell them to Mr. Hooper as Capon Chickens, Mr. Hooper already under investigation for selling Dog meat in place of Pork declined Ernie's offer. Authorities suspect Ernie later took his revenge, Mr. Hooper was mugged and sexually assaulted on his way home that same evening. When questioned by police all Mr. Hooper could remember is a sharp blow to his head and then seeing a short guy with crazy hair wearing a striped shirt. He remembers being sodomized., all the while his attacker was yelling "Let's see you not take this meat, bitch!." To this date Ernie has not been charged with this crime, however he does remain the main suspect.

Later that same evening when Bert returned home from his date with Grover, he went to check on his Pigeons and found them missing. Bert upset over the disappearance of his beloved Pigeons went to confront

Ernie. Details on what happened next are sketchy at best but, The police were called to respond to reports of a loud ruckus at Ernie and Bert's apartment. When they arrived they found the apartment in shambles and

Bert huddled behind the toilet rocking back and forth all the while mumbling "I don't have any pigeons, I've never had any pigeons." Closer examination by the Sesame Street Paramedics revealed Bert had been brutally beaten with a paper clip pimpstick. Ernie was promptly arrested.

Case 96-322212 / Crime Scene Photo Of Bert After A Beating

This is a Police crime scene photo of Bert after a horrendous beating at the hands of Ernie and his paper clip pimpstick. Bert suffered a broken nose, a black eye, a bloody lip, an especially nasty cut on his head that required nine stitches to close, and if you look closely you can see the bruises on Bert's neck from where Ernie had attempted to strangle him. Bert refused to press any charges.

(I do not claim original authorship or other copyright to this material. -MJC)

Sasha Grey, Porn, and Reading

A story was in the news yesterday (11/11/11) that seems to have gotten lost in all the “11/11/11” mania. The story, Parents Upset Porn Star Sasha Grey Read a Book to Children (http://gawker.com/5858710/parents-upset-porn-star-sasha-grey-read-a-book-to-children?utm_campaign=Argyle%2BSocial-2011-11&utm_content=johnny&utm_medium=Argyle%2BSocial&utm_source=twitter&utm_term=2011-11-12-13-25-00), and later followed by this story, Former Porn Star Sasha Grey Refuses to Back Out of Elementary School Reading Program (http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/11/11/porn-star-sasha-grey-refuses-to-back-out-elementary-school-reading-program/#ixzz1dXZWpv4v).

What interested me about these stories is the fact that the parents at this elementary school are all up in arms that on November 2, a former porn star, Sasha Grey, took time out of her life and read to a bunch of children as part of a program sponsored by the National Education Association, Read Across America (http://www.nea.org/grants/886.htm).

Let’s put some perspective into play here; if any of these 1^st and 3^rd grade kids know of Sasha Grey by her body of work, there might exist a couple of bigger issues. The ire of these children’s parents have gotten to the point that the Compton school where this reading event took place are denying Ms. Grey’s presence in the school, much less the classroom. Wow, I’ll let some top-notch Photoshop work here speak for itself.

To be serious again for a moment, here is a picture of Ms. Grey reading to a bunch of elementary school children, who seem so dismayed by her presence, they are paralyzed with shock and awe while Ms. Grey continues to read from children’s book.  Yet the school denies Ms. Grey’s presence here, “We have several celebrities who read to our students each year,” a spokesperson for the school told TMZ. “The actress you indicated was not present.”

This tweet was also posted by Ms. Grey:  “Spent the am with Read Across America Compton, reading to the sweetest 1st and 3rd grade students @ Emerson Elementary.”

At this point, as shown in the following picture, to me the real tragedy of this event is the children snubbing Dr. Seuss’ “One Fish, Two Fish” for some book about a dog (Dog Breath by Dav Pikey). But hey, it’s their call. (Seriously though, snubbing Dr. Seuss? Detention for all of you until you learn some respect for the classics!)

But I digress.

One of the issues I have here is not the parental outrage, no matter how misplaced I feel it is, but rather the schools vehement denial this even happened, despite the photos of the event. !!!! So at this point the lesson we seem to be teaching these kids isn’t “you should read more” but rather “you don’t like what happened then lie and pretend it never happened in the first place”.

Excuse me? I think we may be a little (read as, a lot) off base here.

Let’s look at a fact. In the 2011 report regarding reading and math skills amongst 4^th and 8^th graders across the country, California, where this event took place, ranks as 44% of the 4^th graders reading below the basic level, surpassed only by New Mexico, Louisiana, and Washington, DC (which is worst at 56%). This is not reading “at” a 4^th grade basic level, but “below”.

We seem to be living in a world where the latest XBOX or PlayStation game cheat-code is more important than the next chapter in a book. Where are our priorities? It seems at Emerson Elementary School in Compton, CA. Of note, the school district that hosted Ms. Grey is also one of the worst districts in California, where less than half of students graduate.

“I find it disturbing that a former porn-star read to these kids.”

“It sickens me.”

 “How dare the school allow this to happen?”

These are just a few of the comments I am sure to be found amongst the Compton PTA community. But I have a couple of questions here:

“Do you read to your kids?”

“Do you encourage your kids to pick up a book instead of a game controller?”

“How many of you would or have volunteered your time to do the same thing? Read to a bunch of elementary school children?”

(And for the record, yes, as a matter of fact, on more than one occasion have I volunteered my time to do same. From my senior year in high school when I tutored a handful of 5^th graders in math, to many years later when I was a weekly guest speaker for several months to a room of 6^th graders teaching them computer basics.)

I, for one, applaud Ms. Grey’s work here and am happy to see she is not backing down and “not live in fear of her XXX past”. Why should she live in fear? Sasha Grey had a career in porn. So what? Watch (or, and a touch of irony here, read) any interviews with Ms. Grey and you will see she is intelligent and always approached her work with a fearless attitude. I am sure these same traits were called upon when facing a room full of 1^st and 3^rd graders – they can be a daunting audience and will immediately voice any displeasure.

Ms. Grey further adds, "I am an actor. I am an artist. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a partner. I have a past that some people may not agree with, but it does not define who I am." Why should it? There was nothing wrong with the work Sasha Grey has done during her career in pornography. Porn stars, former and current, are people too. They are adults like anyone else with bills to pay, relationships to maintain, and aspiring dreams. Why should a porn star be treated any better, less, or differently from anyone else? I don't recall anything in the U.S. Constitution where one's citizenship is based on their profession. There is nothing wrong with the work Ms. Grey has done and there is nothing wrong now with her volunteering to read to a bunch of kids who frankly, would probably appreciate more. (I'm sure the issue was happily resolved with the dog's breath, but seriously kids, 2012 is the Year of the Lorax, look into it).

Sasha Grey goes on to say "I believe in the future of our children, and I will remain an active supporter and participant in education-focused initiatives." And I say good for her! I support her work and Sasha (may I call you Sasha?), if you drop me a line (mjcastelli@earthlink.net or 1.571.216.1177, or even Twitter @mjcastelli) I will send you a complete Dr. Seuss library to read and share with these, and any other, children in your endeavors. (The donate and volunteer/participate links on the NEA page aren’t working).

It is Time for the Truth

Truth. There is no absolute truth. There are three sides to every story - yours, mine, and the truth. But if we can't agree on what we are both observing? It seems these days the answer to this question might very well be "no". It seems these days that the truth if colored by the observers opinions. Don't believe that is the case then watch the news reporting a recent event. Now change channels and watch the same story from a different news channel reporter. Now change the channel and do it again. No one reports the same truth do they? After a while you're left to your own devices to determine what exactly is the truth and you have to hope that have the time to filter through it all and get to the facts, if you even care anymore.

I don't proclaim to know "the" truth, but I will tell you "my" truth. You may agree. You may not. I don't give a fuck because it is "my" truth. I refuse to worry about upsetting or disturbing anyone else's worldview at the sacrifice of my own because it is a dishonorable sacrifice - there is no greater good to be had.

You don't like what I say, you don't have to listen.

You don't like what I write, you don't have to read.

But the thing of it this - I don't care if you do or don't listen or read. It means nothing to me. I have a voice and I am going to use it and write "my" truth. Nothing will be spared. No feelings will be sheltered.

You have been warned.

The Blank Page

I am, in part, a writer. I've written four books, three have been published (the fourth was lost when the publisher closed their technical division). I've also written countless reports, proposals, and other various sorts of official documents as part of my job. I've written blogs, random musings, and the occasional "to do" list. Each of these writings all have one thing in common, they start with a blank page.

The blank page is a curse.

The blank page is a promise.

The curse is found in the limitless possibilities of just "where do I start?" My father (a 30+ year professional writer before he died) once said "the worst thing a writer can do is start with just a blank page" What he meant is that the writer's mind has a tendency to edit itself during the creative thought process. Whenever I'm asked by others how to start writing I always answer with advice I follow myself - "just start putting the words down on the paper, you can always move them around later, but get them out of your head and on to the paper".

The promise is found in the same limitless possibilities, with the only restriction being how fast one can transcribe their thoughts, be it handwriting or typing. Stephen King wrote in his book "On Writing" to "write what you know". He went on to say "for example, if you're a plumber, write about a plumber on a spaceship." The idea here is to stretch the boundaries and not limit yourself, but write what you know and the words will almost naturally find themselves on paper.

The blank page is perfect in it's possibilities but that does not mean we must be perfect in our marking of this blank page. The joy is not found in the white spaces between the words, but the words themselves with the emotion, curiosity, understanding, and wonder they bring.

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll

It has been a while since I last wrote and a lot has happened since then, the most significant being that I've come a long way back from the bottom. In my last blog I alluded to some dark thoughts but I could never bring myself to actually put those thoughts on paper - it was enough they were rattling around in my head and I felt if I kept them there it would keep them from becoming real.

Not soon after that last blog I started a new job as a Project/Program Manager (contract) at the FBI and, in short, I love it!

First, I knew I was getting burned out in the sales and sales engineering world but I didn't realize just how burned out I was until I completely walked away from it. I could feel myself just going through the motions with the "[Insert customer name here] blah blah blah" speech followed by the same questions/objections, further followed by my own counterpoints. For what? To get on a plane and go to the next customer meeting and do it all over again? I didn't mind the travel but it was starting to feel non-productive, a true "flight to nowhere".

Second, I was on the hamster wheel of a slow, painful, soul-sucking, monotonous, melancholy death. I've done the sales/sales engineering thing before but there were goals accomplished, deals closed, contracts signed, and engineering problems to solve. There was a purpose to it still. This last go around was just the same never-ending insanity as defined by Albert Einstein (performing the same task in a repeated manner expecting a different result each time). Granted, company ownership was a significant contributor to these issues, but I was the one "out there" in front of customers, not them.

Third, I love that I am doing what I love - running a technical team. Solving problems. Making a difference. The work my team and I are doing has already had an immediate impact on the Forensics Lab, and soon will be Counterterrorism, Counterintelligence, and Innocent Images (the "kiddie porn" investigators). It's making a difference and contributing to a greater good. It's also doing work that has only really been done in theory elsewhere, yet we're making it happen. When vendors tell us "that can't be done" and our response is "Oh? But we're doing it" - it's a great feeling to know that you are part of something greater and really pushing the boundary.

I'm not completely back from the brink as there are still issues with the house and finances, but I'm back to a point where each day I'm looking forward with hope, and not anxiety. I definitely feel like I'm on the upswing and starting to feel a lot better about myself.

As Brian Johnson, and the rest of AC/DC, sings..."It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll", and I plan on putting on a good show when I get there, because that's where I'm headed.

And the band played on

It's hard to have a crisis of faith when one is not even sure anymore in what to have faith. I've always had faith in myself, and I've always come through for myself. But for a while now I've wondered if even that is enough anymore. For many their faith gets them through tough times - usually faith in God, Allah, or whatever deity to which they can relate (Atheists notwithstanding, but even then there is still faith in oneself).

I've always relied on the fact that I can always count on myself. I can always rely on myself. I will always figure something out. It's what keeps me going. It's why I keep pushing myself - always forward, never straight.

But what happens when that isn't enough anymore? When the light starts to fade? When you have fought for so long to get to a point where the faith in oneself just might be rewarded in some fashion what happens if that isn't enough anymore. After having to dig deep for so long to muster the will to keep fighting is there anything left when the fight is over? Is the fight over or is it just a few minutes to catch one's breath? What if you don't know anymore?

There is an adage that a "rising tide lifts all ships" but I wonder something...what if the ship has taken on too much water.

There have been times the last several months where some very dark and disturbing thoughts have crossed my mind and during those times I find myself tested - Do I have anything left? How far down into ones own self can be reached before you hit bottom? And when that happens, then what? Keep digging? Find a new bottom? I've never been one to quit and I haven't yet but being beat is different from quitting.

This could be a week where some of these questions might find answers. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore nor do I trust myself half the time it seems. I just keep moving, keeping pushing, keep fighting to go forward through it all. How far back do I have to go? Where's the line? Each time I think I'm making progress regarding home, work, or love lives the illusion seems to collapse in on itself, leaving me to wonder if it was real to begin with or am I fighting so hard for anything that resembles "light" - because the deeper down I go, the darker things get.

I'm still fighting. I'm still keeping the faith in myself.

I don't know how much I have left but the band keeps playing on.